Whilst I agree you should always try and see things from the other person's perspective, and that this method often works well, I do think some people - some select individuals are beyond reaching.

Like an old manager of mine who told one of my team members in her review, "I'm not giving you a pay rise, but it's not because you're black." I mean, what can you say to that? She was in tears. The guy was so self-centered he didn't even realise that the things he said might cause offence.