I saw this somewhere else, but it stuck with me: "if you get poop on your arm, do you wipe it off with a dry piece of paper - or do you wash with soap and water?"
I just realized my earlier comment may appear trollish. That really wasn't my intention.
I got a good chuckle from this discussion because I travel to Japan frequently. But no matter how many times I've encountered Japanese toilets, they still cause much amusement, confusion, and even some anxiety. (I say anxiety because sometimes it's hard to tell if pressing a button would cause the toilet to sing you a song or do something unexpected.)
After reading this article and seeing the very lively and rather in-depth discussion here on HN, I'm pleasantly surprised that I'm not the only one befuddled and fascinated by this bit of Japanese technology.
On the other hand, I've also spent time in parts of the world where there's no running water at all for flushing toilets. Hence the fringe nature of bidets in our society and toilet seats costing more than $1k = first world problems IMO. Not that it wouldn't make a great gift for the holidays.
If I got poop on my arm, I wouldn't use toilet water to wash it off.
This to me is the #1 reason I don't want bidets and would never use it. Pretty much the most repellent idea to me is the concept of the toilet spraying me back.
How's this for an idea... a sink next to the toilet where I can warm a piece of paper with water and use it. Nice, simple, and works well.
Or baby wipes. Those work really well too. Replicate this with an "adult version".
Yeah, and that is the same water you drink, too. It goes through the same kind of pipes, they just end in different places. You could do a A/B test and most probably you would not be able to find any difference between water from the toilet pipe and water from the kitchen pipe.
Yes the water is clean, but that's only for sure until it comes out from what is basically inside the toilet bowl. If that opening is dirty, the water will be dirty.
The spray head doesn't stick around in the middle of the bowl for you to poop on it. It stays tucked away inside (or below) the bidet machinery until you activate it, at which time it extends only as far as it needs to. When it's done spraying, it automatically retracts to its former position.
The water comes out of a little nozzle on the end of a wand that extends only when used. While you do your number 1 or 2, the wand is retracted inside the toilet seat (not bowl, above the bowl). Plus, after spraying, the nozzle will auto-clean itself before retracting.
I don't understand why bidets are fringe :(