I have the exact same issues regarding starting tasks/hobbies and not being able to finish them. I've actually never, in my entire life, managed to stick to anything for longer than a week. Aside from school, but you're basically forced to go through it.
I've tried multiple times to get through college, but I could never study consistently or at any length of time without feeling exhausted after a couple of minutes, if not before even starting. People keep talking about getting started is the hardest part... No, not for me. I'm lucky if I can get through 20 minutes before I can't focus and need to do something else for an hour or two.
I've thought about ADHD before, but I'm just not sure. There are plenty of situations where I feel engaged enough to do a single task for a long time. I can read a book in one sitting. I can binge watch entire seasons of GoT (or any number of other series) back-to-back. So it feels like grasping for ADHD is just a cop out of actually learning how to study or how to adult and I feel like even more of a failure.
I will not deny that I am biased as I am pretty sure I am afflicted with ADHD and it fucked up parts of my life well and good. So, by all means, take it with a grain of salt and do your independent research.
That said:
>I've thought about ADHD before, but I'm just not sure. There are plenty of situations where I feel engaged enough to do a single task for a long time. I can read a book in one sitting. I can binge watch entire seasons of GoT (or any number of other series) back-to-back. So it feels like grasping for ADHD is just a cop out of actually learning how to study or how to adult and I feel like even more of a failure.
This again is not untypical, some call it "hyperfocus" which I hate because it sounds like a superpower while it probably just is what neurotypicals call "flow".
Do you get "in the zone" while doing your taxes? Or do you get into it while devouring information, researching things you find super interesting or in the initial phase of a new project? If it is the latter, it fits.
ADHD does not mean you are unable to concentrate at all - it means you have troubles concentrating on boring tasks, on extrinsical tasks, on yak-shaving problems. It still allows you to go super deep into some rabbit hole you find interesting in the moment.
If I were you, I'd research the symptoms and different presentations (https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html) and see how well they fit. If they fit, maybe head over to https://old.reddit.com/r/ADHD/ to read some personal perspective. The sub is not super high quality, and confirmation bias is an issue, but I felt it is a good resource to check how well I click with others from an ADHD background.
And if you still think that maybe there's more to it than being a failure, seek treatment. A bit of Adderall or Ritalin should give you a pretty good idea whether your functioning can be improved by meds. Exercise is extremely valuable as well.
I've tried multiple times to get through college, but I could never study consistently or at any length of time without feeling exhausted after a couple of minutes, if not before even starting. People keep talking about getting started is the hardest part... No, not for me. I'm lucky if I can get through 20 minutes before I can't focus and need to do something else for an hour or two.
I've thought about ADHD before, but I'm just not sure. There are plenty of situations where I feel engaged enough to do a single task for a long time. I can read a book in one sitting. I can binge watch entire seasons of GoT (or any number of other series) back-to-back. So it feels like grasping for ADHD is just a cop out of actually learning how to study or how to adult and I feel like even more of a failure.